A Place in the Sun

Earlier this year,  I published my On Grief post. Water has flowed under the bridge daily. I wanted to share some thoughts here. My mentor, Jackey Backman , joined along with me on a holiday and we ended up being 'on retreat' together - mirroring each other and bringing up the other's isuses through being a mirror for each other. She also helped me process things as they came up, while we were travelling. We were out of comms half the time and I kept her busy tapping her phone - not on social media but on a Trip Meter (which is an app that counts metres / kilometres) as we passed important signs and landmarks along our Sicily journey. We had to keep telling each other not to squirrel away in our heads and it was quite funny. BUT there was great learning for both of us, I dare say, and having Jackey along (besides the great company) felt like doing a retreat. We were doing things we don't normally do, sometimes getting uncomfortable (including having ourselves in ...

The monster strikes again.  Love and loss - we can safely say that all love stories end in tragedy - either because of some form of separation, or death. Grief has struck again and it is unspeakable.  Through the tears, I am working on self development. I look for him on social media and he's just below the surface, but not making any contact except occasionally.  To that extent, neither am I. I am keeping time and space as my healer, and possibly as an insight to both of us as to where we want to go. Most people I talk to on his side seem to think that this was the real deal for him. That our relationship was, for him, the works.  What could have driven him ... fear of commitment, the intensity, the crazy schedule.  I know he needs time. I know I need time too.  Through this, I learned that many limiting beliefs have determined how i deal with grief. And I am trying to change them. I don't have to go through the pain of the bargaining stage - the bargainin...

They say creation comes when you are at your most emotional. But, really ? Does it ever? Many have written about writer's block, too. And that muse abandons them when they are going through difficult times. The pendulum swings either way, it seems. The last few months have been far from easy. I have swung from being crazily busy to being rendered inactive after falling off my bicycle, just before the pandemic had us in semi-lock-down. I spent all of my time during this period wearing a knee-brace, and a good chunk of that having to use crutches. I would have thought this was something that would throw me - as would being confined and forced to stay away from socialising. In reality I was healing, healing from a huge gaping hole that was caused by living with someone who had addiction and bestowing on him different kinds of love. What started off as love among equals soon turned to be, for me, a love that provided support and resolved itself, perhaps, into the son I should have ha...