A Place in the Sun

 I read about a stoic's attitude towards grief.  Of course it gets better but it comes and goes in waves. It is one thing when you have to move mountains to achieve something - a family event or requirement, a career goal or deadline.  That's an achievement in itself. It's another to have to do it when your heart is broken.  I asked myself - If I were to succeed in being a proper stoic, would this get better for me? There's a lot of hype around being stoic - and it seems to be a magic formula so as not to suffer so intensely. But I guess, pain is necessary for us to move past certain experiences, to learn and to heal. But, achieving your goals in life while healing a broken heart is tough, even if you are a 'stoic' or practice stoicism in some form. Making it alone in the midst of your grief isn't easy, but it is what makes you strong. No doubt the Stoics were people who had feelings - big feelings.  Look up Seneca's essays on grief and loss, or the stor...

Earlier this year,  I published my On Grief post. Water has flowed under the bridge daily. I wanted to share some thoughts here. My mentor, Jackey Backman , joined along with me on a holiday and we ended up being 'on retreat' together - mirroring each other and bringing up the other's isuses through being a mirror for each other. She also helped me process things as they came up, while we were travelling. We were out of comms half the time and I kept her busy tapping her phone - not on social media but on a Trip Meter (which is an app that counts metres / kilometres) as we passed important signs and landmarks along our Sicily journey. We had to keep telling each other not to squirrel away in our heads and it was quite funny. BUT there was great learning for both of us, I dare say, and having Jackey along (besides the great company) felt like doing a retreat. We were doing things we don't normally do, sometimes getting uncomfortable (including having ourselves in ...

The monster strikes again.  Love and loss - we can safely say that all love stories end in tragedy - either because of some form of separation, or death. Grief has struck again and it is unspeakable.  Through the tears, I am working on self development. I look for him on social media and he's just below the surface, but not making any contact except occasionally.  To that extent, neither am I. I am keeping time and space as my healer, and possibly as an insight to both of us as to where we want to go. Most people I talk to on his side seem to think that this was the real deal for him. That our relationship was, for him, the works.  What could have driven him ... fear of commitment, the intensity, the crazy schedule.  I know he needs time. I know I need time too.  Through this, I learned that many limiting beliefs have determined how i deal with grief. And I am trying to change them. I don't have to go through the pain of the bargaining stage - the bargainin...