True Love and Spiritualism

  Whatever nature it takes, love requires management - of one's own way of being first.  To love another, you have to know how to care for yourself first. The old cliche, that you cannot fill from an empty jug, comes to mind, but it is, of course true.

So, based on a recent experience that threw me, I delved into Thich Nhat Than's book, True Love, a veritable manual of how to deal with human relationships, the Buddhist way. I was brought up the Catholic way and I cannot say I've ever been given such an easy-to-follow and helpful 'manual' to human relationships. All I got, from my Catholic background, is a mountain of (sometimes-unwarranted) expectations from others, that have sometimes placed my relationships into question.

Naturally, the ones that give the most trouble are the ones where one is most invested. That's a true and painful admission. But the lessons you learn for 'romantic' love, can easily be translated into other forms of relationships.

The four basic principles of love that this book outlines are:

- loving-kindness - the ability to bring joy to the other

- compassion - the ability to ease the other's pain

- joy - if there is suffering, that is not love.

- equanimity or freedom - when you love someone, you bring that person freedom.

These are, in themselves, worthy of lengthy thought.  These 4 simple rules are important for any form of love - familial, friendship, deeper attachment.



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