Eight years on
Eight years ago this time, I was looking at my suitcases and trying to come to terms with the fact that my ten-year long relationship was over. We had had a chat and painfully admitted that there was no spark any more. I was scared to draw the line, and possibly so was he.
Towards the end of January, I had a dream, in which we were both in the living room, with the dog, talking. We were just ghosts and the room was bathed in white light. and we were both dressed in white (I think). I woke up with very painful emotions, because I knew deep inside that something had ended, even if I did not want to acknowledge it. I had become close to someone else by then, who acted as a foil for what was going on at home.
I am well over the relationship now - eight years are a long time. The journey has been long and not without its trials and tribulations. Friends have flitted in and out of my life, with only a few remaining. Partly my fault for isolating myself but I have not always been able to do otherwise. Sometimes it has been moments of unbearable anxiety and sometimes I just don't feel like going out to meet people.
Now I am at cross roads and there are things I need to do to take care of myself. While I've had this blog for many years, it is only recently that I've resorted to writing here. I am hoping that it will serve as therapy, though I wonder if anyone does read posts - there is so much online these days that we are inundated by information, which thus loses its value.
In any case, here is to a new week which I want to turn around to success.
Towards the end of January, I had a dream, in which we were both in the living room, with the dog, talking. We were just ghosts and the room was bathed in white light. and we were both dressed in white (I think). I woke up with very painful emotions, because I knew deep inside that something had ended, even if I did not want to acknowledge it. I had become close to someone else by then, who acted as a foil for what was going on at home.
I am well over the relationship now - eight years are a long time. The journey has been long and not without its trials and tribulations. Friends have flitted in and out of my life, with only a few remaining. Partly my fault for isolating myself but I have not always been able to do otherwise. Sometimes it has been moments of unbearable anxiety and sometimes I just don't feel like going out to meet people.
Now I am at cross roads and there are things I need to do to take care of myself. While I've had this blog for many years, it is only recently that I've resorted to writing here. I am hoping that it will serve as therapy, though I wonder if anyone does read posts - there is so much online these days that we are inundated by information, which thus loses its value.
In any case, here is to a new week which I want to turn around to success.
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